All is full of love

You'll be given love; you'll be taken care of

You've been given love. You have to trust it

Maybe not from the sources you have poured yours

Maybe not from the directions you are staring at

Twist your head around, it's all around you

All is full of love, all around you

All is full of love. You just ain't receiving

All is full of love. Your phone is off the hook

All is full of love. Your doors are all shut

All is full of love! Be the little angel

All is full of love, all is full of love ...

~ Bjork

Tangible togetherness

Where the heart is

Its been long. And I am not talking about the last time since I posted something on my blog. Its been a really long time away from everything that means home to me. Friendships, familiarity, warmth, love, home.

I once scoffed at someone who said that nothing grounds you more than an experience away from home. And now, I've been there, known that. However, I cannot recall how. In many ways, the past few years have been the most solid demonstrations of the power of denial. The heartache so painful, I could just die. And the denial, my trusty survival tool, keeping me alive. Those feelings are more real now, and I can barely handle the torture of this long drawn anticipation. I'm not sure I have let it all in, though. Just how much I have missed home.

But I am closer to being where I want to be. Sometimes, a couple of loving arms can be the best place in the whole world. I know those arms feel just as empty as I feel unsheltered. I've been there before- its warm, safe and it fits perfectly. I know that's where I belong. And I am ready, all packed, to head back to where I belong. He is my home.

So I am off to where my heart is... I'm going home.

The Blue in Purple

Just got reminded that there is blue in purple. Feel a little blue. Accomplished a milestone and had a knot in my throat. So happy, so sad. I am an emotional yo-yo. Really. Given how much experience I have with this "I'm back!" and "farewell" business, one would think I have a system figured out to help me deal with it.

Guess what? I don't.

Down the streets of my soul

What color is your soul painted? Purple Your soul is painted the color purple, which embodies the characteristics of sensuality, spirituality, creativity, wealth, royalty, nobility, mystery, enlightenment, arrogance, gaudiness, mourning, confusion, pride, delicacy, power, meditation, religion, and ambition. Purple falls under the element of Earth, and was once a European symbol of royalty; today it symbolizes the divine. Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

Pouring....

Its beautiful.... its raining. And I LOVE it! I have to remind myself I'm not back home, though. But I cannot deny that there is something about the rains that always feels so good, so comforting. Feels like friends, walking aimlessly. I guess that is my association. But I don't care- makes me happy! I guess its the pervasive kinda nature of water- it just flows and reaches out. Feels connected, feels great. Sigh!

does the word "broken" mean anything?

I would have LOVED to have a purple heart, but...

... this is what a fun quiz tells me:

Your Heart Is Green

Love completes you, but that doesn't mean you seek it out. When love comes your way, you integrate it peacefully into the rest of you life. Your flirting style: Laid back Your lucky first date: Walking around aimlessly and talking Your dream lover: Is both enthusiastic and calm What you bring to relationships: Balance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

This damn thing feels spookily insightful. I had several thoughts after I read my "heart-profile". That, probably, will be a whole other post! Soon! Until then, what are your thoughts? And what's the color of your heart? Bolo, bolo.. tell, tell!

Pure Purple

It was beautiful. I finished all the work I had to do before I could leave for NY. It was 10PM and I could either sleep and wake up early, pack and drive to NY or I could pack at 10PM and then sleep. My usual procrastinating self would have urged me to put off packing until next morning, but I knew that I would NEVER wake up on time to leave at a decent hour (to beat the evil rush-hour traffic).

So I started to pack my suitcase and, after a significant amount of time, I was finally done. What? I was going to NY for 2 whole months; I HAD to make sure I had packed absolutely EVERYTHING that I may need! Anyways, by the time I was done, I realized that I had been fighting certain unpleasant thoughts while packing my suitcase- there was still one more thing that I needed to do before I could leave- The sink was FULL of dirty dishes that had accumulated over the week (YUCKY!!!). So given the option of either washing them now or allowing things to literally grow in there by the time I get back from NY, I wisely(!) chose to do the dishes. And when I got done with that, it was 2:30 AM.

If I slept now, I would wake up around 11AM and it would be a long, HOT drive, smack in the middle of rush-hour traffic. So guess what I did? Yup- I drove up to NY at 3:30AM! It was beautiful. The roads were empty, the air was fresh and crisp and it was one of those good-to-be-alive feelings! I should also let you know that I was listening to beautiful music on the drive and for those 3.5 hours that I was in my car, it was like being in a time-space capsule. Just me, my music, my thoughts. No angry cars honking at other cars, no needing to defend my car from annoying lane-shifters and since I was on the expressway, no breaks (or brakes!) from this peaceful, tranquil drive. Also, since I have a tendency to floor the accelerator when there are no vehicles ahead of me, and since this was one empty expressway, I decided to attempt using the very-unused cruise-control thingie in my gaadi. Aaaah.... beautiful! With my feet tucked under me, it was like no other drive-to-NY I had ever done before. So I was pretty darn blissful, watching the road fly beneath my car and watching myself glide over the beautiful, winding roads. I must say it was surreal, kinda psychedelic and I may have had an out of body experience- the music had taken over my body and I was on a high- soaring (in my car, or course!) with goosebumps all over me at one point (some of you know the feeling I'm talking about). And as I was reveling in this beauty, I witness the most beautiful thing I have EVER seen in my whole life...

At the horizon, was emerging a breathtakingly divine, purple sunrise. So there I was, in my car; my legs tucked under me, my body completely relaxed; I was overcome by the calm and steady pace of cruising and was high on music; and this was a scene that added yet another dimension of sensory stimulation to the almost orgasmic state I was already in. I drove more and more into the morning sun; I was engulfed by this overpowering phenomenon; and, in hindsight, I realize that at that moment I did not exist. It was the road, the music, the sun, the wind, the sky. It was so overpowering, beautiful and surreal that I actually had tears rolling down my cheeks (No, I wasn't crying). That was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced in my whole life. So pure, so purple.

Flip-flop Freedom!

So its finally summer and I finally get to wear my favourite footwear. They're really not all that fancy and they're certainly not anywhere even close to being glam. They are, however, the most comfortable things my feet can find themselves in (after a bed, of course!). And they are... my flip-flops.

Needless to say, I probably own way too many pairs of my favorite kind of chappals than I will ever need. But somehow, there is really no such thing as having too many chappals! I am not really a shoe person. The highest pair of heels I own may be a whole inch tall (And I only wear those to look "professional" in clinic) . Anything higher makes me skeptical about its comfort, and even the mere thought of those (in my mind) over-rated stilettos actually hurts my back. So for me, my flip-flops symbolize freedom. Freedom for my toes, freedom from ridiculously-high-heeled-induced backaches (what? for some of us 1 inch is HIGH!) and freedom from needing to wash my socks!

I am a sunshine-girl- I need the sun. I LOVE the sun. My feet are sunshine-feet too. The sun keeps us (me and my feet) happy. And what better way to celebrate the summer happiness than stepping into the sun with a liberating pair of flip-flops- no longer covered under big snow-boots or dark "professional" shoes. My feet are free to enjoy the sun and be themselves, non-conforming to the shape that a shoe expects your foot to be. Its liberating, I have a spring (and a summer) in my step, and I can stroll around for hours... floating in my freedom.

Now, if only I had my walking-buddy here...

Missing, longing, yearning

"Give me something I can hold

Give me something to believe in

I am frightened for my soul

Please, please, make love to me, send love through me

Heal me with your crime

The only one who ever knew me

We've wasted so much time

So much time..."

Random thoughts before craziness

That's what this image is called. That's how I feel right now. This week has been long. Tired. Going to bed.

Funny Feline!

I'm at a friend's place, kitty-sitting (all you boys making funny jokes about that- ha ha... very funny... NOT!) Its funny, I never thought I was a cat person. And its funny, I still don't think I am! And the only reason why its that funny to me is that I think the cat and I are both a little scared of each other!

I mean, its not like scary-scary (even though he looks like a miniature lion!). But I certainly get a little startled when the cat lands on the head-rest of the couch I'm sitting on. That, in turn, startles the cat! After all that mutual startling, I laugh a little in my head at how stupid this whole thing is! One would think that just how baby-sitters know what to do around babies, cat-sitters should kinda-sorta know what to do around cats. Not me!

Having said all of that, I do think that the cat and I have fun sometimes. There's this laser-torch thingie here. Sometimes, when he is in the mood, and when I feel like holding down the poke-y (is that even a word?!?!?) button on the little torch, he'll chase the laser dot all over the apartment till he's exhausted. Funny cat, he is- chasing a red dot all over the place! He'd probably be good at karaoke! (don't even bother). He also has a "secret place". Of course, he only "thinks" that its his secret place. Smack in the middle of the dining area, is a big carton filled with paper and some pillows. That's where he "hides" so he can be "on the prowl" before "attacking" the evil red dot. Its quite funny to watch him become a hunter all of a sudden. Silly cat!

I'm sleepy now. I could go to sleep on the couch, but I won't. The cat is sleeping on the head-rest of the couch. Don't ask me how the hell he balances himself, but he is clearly sleeping right now and the only falling he has done, is "asleep". So the reason I don't want to sleep on the couch is that I don't want the cat to come and snuggle up to me while I'm sleeping. Because if he did, he'd startle me and I'd probably jump out of my skin; that would startle him right back and we would be a couple of startled beings in the middle of the night! (Try imagining that; its quite funny!)


I really have no business cat-sitting! But I put out food in his food-bowl and make sure his water-bowl is never dry. That is all I can do around a cat. However, he is certainly used to having humans around. Maybe he'll understand that in my own startled-n-startling way, all I'm doing is trying to make sure he is taken care of.

TV time!

So my TVs been on for over the past 12 hours. I have no idea what it is about having the TV on, but it serves as good background noise. And nice noise too. TV is like noise you can watch!

But I think I know what I like best about TV. Its mindless; does not require you to be anything more than just physically present. It provides a nice respite from everything that life demands from us. Its the one thing we can say we're "doing" (watching TV), when what we are really, is just "being". Does that even make sense? Like I promised earlier, I won't always make sense! This is one of those times. I like such times. Not the not making sense part! The "just being" part.

So I have it all figured out. Don't know if you agree with this, but I like TV, 'cause TV lets me just be. Profound? Perhaps not. Purple? Oh yeah!

p.s. babies don't need tv as much as adults do, since this is all it takes to keep them happy

Putting down thoughts

This is my first time. I'm a rookie. I will not promise a lot of sense on my blog. No organized thoughts, no structured composition. What I do promise, are abstract articulations, music musings, inconsequential introspection, alternate alignment and of course, lots of alliterations!

If you've gotten this far, you have probably recognized that I have a high R.Q. (Rambling Quotient). That is something you are assured on PurplePerspectives. Some stuff will be beautiful, some will be sad. Some will be insightful, some will be myopic. It may not be as sophisticated as I sometimes wish my writings were. When I write, it is mostly unfiltered, uncovered. It certainly will be raw; this may not be for the faint-hearted! Hopefully, through PurplePerspectives, I'll be able to share with you beauty in breakdown*. This may not be what you expect; this may not always be "fun". But all of it will be me. It won't always be pretty, but it will always be purple...

* (part of) Lyrics of "Let Go" ~ Frou Frou

So, let go

Jump in

Oh well, what you waiting for?

It's all right

'Cause there's beauty in breakdown

So, let go

Just get in

Oh, it's so amazing here

It's all right

'Cause there's beauty in breakdown

Jump in, just get in, welcome to PurplePrespectives!