Its been long. And I am not talking about the last time since I posted something on my blog. Its been a really long time away from everything that means home to me. Friendships, familiarity, warmth, love, home.
I once scoffed at someone who said that nothing grounds you more than an experience away from home. And now, I've been there, known that. However, I cannot recall how. In many ways, the past few years have been the most solid demonstrations of the power of denial. The heartache so painful, I could just die. And the denial, my trusty survival tool, keeping me alive. Those feelings are more real now, and I can barely handle the torture of this long drawn anticipation. I'm not sure I have let it all in, though. Just how much I have missed home.
But I am closer to being where I want to be. Sometimes, a couple of loving arms can be the best place in the whole world. I know those arms feel just as empty as I feel unsheltered. I've been there before- its warm, safe and it fits perfectly. I know that's where I belong. And I am ready, all packed, to head back to where I belong. He is my home.
So I am off to where my heart is... I'm going home.
